The signs of my novel meme

Dorothy tagged me and thereby saved me from the painful necessity of creativity. Draft posts are backing up, I promise you! It’s just that they are only half-complete and the rest of the words simply will not come. In the meantime, signs of a novel by me:

  1. It’ll be short.
  2. There will be very little dialogue. Sorry, can’t be bothered to type all that punctuation.
  3. It will not be subtitled ‘A Novel’.
  4. The blurb will have some relevance to the contents, because I will write it.
  5. It will be wry, witty, ironic and detached in tone.
  6. The heroine will be called Livia, will wear great shoes and will drink champagne other than Veuve Cliquot or Moet.
  7. It will be contemporary because I’m too lazy to do historical research.
  8. It will sink without trace.
  9. It will have literary pretensions.
  10. It will never happen.

Given that my entire writing career consists of this blog and one bad poem from many years ago, I think the world is safe from any more extended writing.

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9 thoughts on “The signs of my novel meme

  1. musingsfromthesofa Post author

    Alas, Mandarine, I do not have the drive, the need to write, the imagination or the talent for a novel. I’d like to read that book too, though, so if anyone else would like to play with Livia, they should feel free.

  2. Zoesmom

    Damn, I was hopeful for a great read until #10. Perhaps the list in itself could be considered your novel? You do say it will be short and there is much I could extrapolate from here.

    You make me laugh.

  3. musingsfromthesofa Post author

    ZM, you have given me a great idea. I will reduce famous works of fiction to bullet point lists; these will be ideally suited to mobile delivery for the allegedly illiterate ‘youth of today’. I will then augment each list with an informative but humorous introduction and the entire collection will almost certainly be picked up by a major publishing house and produced as a small but slightly over-priced hardback for the Christmas gift book market.

  4. litlove

    LOL! I know just what you mean about the punctuation for speech. I keep thinking to myself if I have to write it, now where should that damn comma go? I’m all for stream-of-consciousness on that basis.

  5. musingsfromthesofa Post author

    Emily – my feeling is that Livia would enjoy mint juleps very much.

    Dorothy W – Personally, I’m pinning my hopes for the fruition of this novel on Emily

    Litlove – I once tutored a guy who wrote short stories but struggled with punctuation; in particular, he wanted to learn about the punctuation around dialogue, so for a brief time I was very well versed in it. I think that is where my distaste stems from.

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