I’ve decided that there are too many things in my life that I don’t like, and that’s it about time to change them or get rid of them. I’m not sure why, but I’m feeling unusually empowered at the moment. I think the combination of being truly sick of commuting and an especially frustrating patch at work has pushed me to the point of recklessness. The way it usually happens is that one day I’m fine, in so far as the usual irritants are within acceptable bounds. But then one more thing happens, be it an almighty row, an exceptionally bad meeting or just a day too many of standing on the train, and bang! it’s a trigger. If I’m honest, I like this feeling, because I don’t know what’s going to happen next, so there’s a pleasing sense of unpredictability. This is the frame of mind in which all the significant changes in my life have been made. Who knows what it will be this time? Not me, not yet.
Still, while I’m waiting for the big stuff to sort itself out, I can deal with the small stuff. The first to go is the gym. I have never liked going to the gym, it’s just something that I turned to when I moved to the US and cycling every day went out of the window. Cycling was good, it was primarily a means of transport and it got me across Oxford faster than any other method of travel. It was an added bonus that it also took care of any exercise needs.
Alas, the gym means working out solely for the sake of working out, and every single visit was a struggle. Really, who goes willingly into an unpleasant environment for an hour of solid boredom? The only reason I did is because I lack the willpower to do any exercise at all if I’m not forced into it. However desultory my activities once inside the gym, at least they were better for me than sitting on the sofa eating biscuits. Thus went the argument. Since I’ve been working in the city, my gym attendance has been on a steady downward curve. I’m already tired, and when I do get to the gym I come out more tired. Enough. I’ve cancelled my membership.
It is not coincidental that I’ve also just signed up for a regular yoga class. I hope for no gym + more yoga + more walking = sufficient maintenance. It’s a start.