I’ve decided that there are too many things in my life that I don’t like, and that’s it about time to change them or get rid of them. I’m not sure why, but I’m feeling unusually empowered at the moment. I think the combination of being truly sick of commuting and an especially frustrating patch at work has pushed me to the point of recklessness. The way it usually happens is that one day I’m fine, in so far as the usual irritants are within acceptable bounds. But then one more thing happens, be it an almighty row, an exceptionally bad meeting or just a day too many of standing on the train, and bang! it’s a trigger. If I’m honest, I like this feeling, because I don’t know what’s going to happen next, so there’s a pleasing sense of unpredictability. This is the frame of mind in which all the significant changes in my life have been made. Who knows what it will be this time? Not me, not yet.

Still, while I’m waiting for the big stuff to sort itself out, I can deal with the small stuff. The first to go is the gym. I have never liked going to the gym, it’s just something that I turned to when I moved to the US and cycling every day went out of the window. Cycling was good, it was primarily  a means of transport and it got me across Oxford faster than any other method of travel. It was an added bonus that it also took care of any exercise needs.

Alas, the gym means working out solely for the sake of working out, and every single visit was a struggle. Really, who goes willingly into an unpleasant environment for an hour of solid boredom? The only reason I did is because I lack the willpower to do any exercise at all if I’m not forced into it. However desultory my activities once inside the gym, at least they were better for me than sitting on the sofa eating biscuits. Thus went the argument. Since I’ve been working in the city, my gym attendance has been on a steady downward curve. I’m already tired, and when I do get to the gym I come out more tired. Enough. I’ve cancelled my membership.

It is not coincidental that I’ve also just signed up for a regular yoga class. I hope for no gym + more yoga + more walking = sufficient maintenance. It’s a start.


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I've run out of books. Again.

7 thoughts on “Change”

  1. I’m watching another summer drift past in which I fail to do the exercise I promised myself I’d do. I get on the exercise bike sometimes, but I keep thinking about buying a wii for the wii fit program (and mostly the yoga element) and then holding back from spending a lot of money when I’m poor on something that might languish in a cupboard. Let me know how you do – I’m hoping you will inspire me!

  2. I totally get like this. Things pile on and on until, eventually, I take a step back and decide on changes. Like you, I start with the small stuff, to get feeling better, and then cast my net wider for major change if still needed.
    Obviously in one instance this ended in divorce, but i like to think of that as an anomaly, lol.


  3. Litlove – for me, I know it’s not worth buying equipment until I’ve already committed the time to exercising enough to have built a habit that means I’ll use the equipment. Because really, you don’t need any gear, it’s quite possible just to get on with it – sit ups and lunges and push ups etc. And that’s exactly where it usually falls apart for me, hence the gym.

    Anna – So far, it seems to have been an anomaly!

  4. Good for you, and thank you! For some inexplicable reason (temporary insanity brought on by “vacation brain?”) I had recently been contemplating the notion of joining a gym again. You’ve reminded me exactly why that is a ludicrous idea (although I still might seek out a swim club, since I do like to swim, especially in winter when it’s so counter-intuitive to do so).

  5. Emily – There’s also the fact that with a couple of sets of weights you can do pretty much everything you’d do in the gym at home. And if you can’t be bothered to do it at home, chances are you won’t get yourself to the gym either.

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