The big news

Alright chaps, I confess, I’ve been holding out on you. There’s been huge, life changing stuff going on, which, along with the pressure of NaBloPoMo (OMG, the pressure [lifts hand dramatically to brow]), has been one reason why my thoughts are on pretty, shiny things and not much else.

Here goes:

  1. I am moving back to England next month, to take up a job in the UK office.
  2. I am moving on my own.

I have nothing to say on #2 beyond that bald fact, because it’s not something that requires public explanation. Except that if anyone is worried about me, don’t be. I’m holding it together, possibly with the aid of emotional sticky tape in a way that would make Blue Peter proud, and with red wine in a way they most certainly wouldn’t approve, but nevertheless: as we all know, Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.

On #1, I have a lot to say, but where to begin? It’s not a surprise, I think, that I want to go home. The job offer came up out seemingly out of nowhere, and it’s a good one. It’s going to be tough, stressful, exhausting and borderline impossible, all of which is fine by me and even equates to fun. The relocation itself is falling into place with surprising ease, because I’m moving into S’s spare room (Yay! Girl time!) until I find my own place, and I’m not taking anything with me beyond books, pictures, shoes and handbags. I’ll ship that stuff when I’ve got an address to ship it to. That’s all simple, a matter of making a list and crossing items off it as they get done.

And I’m looking forward to so many things I can barely keep track of them. I left England easily 6 years ago, yet it turns out that the roots were long enough to cross the Atlantic and exert a gentle, persistent pull. It will be a welcome home coming.

But. I’ve done this whole leaving a country thing once, so I know that it is going to be quietly devastating. By focusing on the planning and by looking ahead I can almost forget that. Almost. On a day to day level, it is inconceivable that the people who are now an integral part of my life will be so far away and hours out of sync. It makes no sense to me. At the same time, I am possessed by the feeling that time is running out, as indeed it is. I have a business trip that will take up one week out of the remaining three, leaving me with 13 US days until I move. I’ll be working most of them.

I won’t see everyone, say everything, do everything that I want to before I go, although I’ll try. Just in case, you guys know, right? That I love you, and I’ll miss you so very, very much? That my life is immeasurably the richer for your presence in it, and will remain so, even at a distance? I can only hope that the thousand social networking activities that the 21st century is heir to will come into their own yet again. And that you’ll visit.


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I've run out of books. Again.

10 thoughts on “The big news”

  1. Ruth – You UK lot will be most satisfactorily filling your own gaps 🙂 Everyone should move with me, that would solve the problem.

  2. The social networking things are crap substitutes. We will be visiting in person as often ad possible (while also expecting visits in return). And I will not pretend that, although very happy for you (and I KNOW the decision is the right one for you), there are no tears in my eyes (my mother never manages to instill that “stiff upper lip” stuff in this typically emotional Southern Belle).

  3. Emily – I can do stiff upper lip with the best of them, and I’ve sobbed my little heart out on more than one occasion. (And I hate crying, it ruins my mascara, makes me look like a rat and gives me a headache, so I am usually quite resistant to it.) There will be visiting, I can promise you that. There will also be letters and postcards and emails and care packages full of English treats and alerts to special flight deals…

  4. Can I be quietly sad that you are leaving, even while I’m happy that you are returning home? This fills me with a sense of deja vu – my husband’s family went back to England when he was little because of people back there, as well as a family friend of mine. what is it about the UK that calls people back? I can see it in my husband, so I am biding my time, wondering if the roots here will be strong enough or if we will have to go back. So I can only say that you’ll be missed here, but the same way your roots let you come over here, the very same roots will let us stay in touch with you. You’d better read and blog because your sense of humour is wonderful! At least I hope you’ll find time to be writing on here when you get set up……

    Very sorry about #2, have been there, and through it all.

    Just remember to take the books you love too, I don’t see them on your list! This little bibliophile is thinking a few books will get you back across the Atlantic and settled happily sooner!

  5. Susan – Ah, thank you! I don’t know what it is precisely, other than that England is home, America is just the country I live in and I’m tired of being a foreigner. I will certainly read and blog, at least as soon as I get my concentration back… I have no plans to abandon the Musings site anyway. It has served me well.

    You are right on the mark: I’ll be making room in my suitcase for the handful of books that act as a security blanket while I wait for the rest to arrive. Off the top of my head, P&P (of course!), Venetia, Autumn Journal, Bacchae, Gaudy Night. And if that’s not enough, I’ll be able to console myself with a guilt free raid on Blackwells!

  6. Good luck with your move (and that second part). The UK is tricky and I think people often underestimate how much we all love it over here, despite slagging it off. I feel like it might have something to do with the fact that in the UK you have permission to call out your country for being crap and to work on getting it better, while still loving all the greatness about it.

  7. Jodie – And if I’m going to live in a country that’s a bit crap and broken, then it may as well be one I like. And where I can vote (Labour) without to swear some dodgy oath of allegiance first.

  8. Oh my! Well, big changes inevitably mean big losses and grieving is the only way around those. But, fresh starts are full of hugely exciting opportunities. Take care of yourself in all possible ways, and let us know how it all goes!

  9. Best of luck for starting afresh. I am really sorry about #2, but I hope that the promise and thrill of #1 helps to salve those sorrows. You sound really happy about getting back to the UK, though inevitably you will miss the special people and good friends you have made in the US.

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