My inner feminist

interrupts her mani/pedi and reading about the fall fashions in Vogue to twirl her hair and say:

  1. Go ahead, open that car door/door for me. And while you’re at it, shouldn’t someone other than me be carrying this heavy thing?
  2. Hey, if you’re at all handy with a hammer, I have a picture that’s still propped on the bookcase and would look so much better on the wall… Yes, I probably could do it myself. I’m just not going to.
  3. You want to pay for dinner? Waiter, bring me another bellini!
  4. Yeah, I know you can’t run away in heels, but they are so much prettier. Also, in an emergency, hitting someone with a 4-inch stiletto will be a lot more effective than batting feebly at them with a ballet flat.
  5. I don’t need to understand why the washing machine doesn’t work. Please just fix it. Look, I’ll make helpful tea.
  6. You’ve got me bang to rights, I can’t read a map. It’s one of those activities I outsource, along with bicycle maintenance.
  7. Flowers? Really? OMG, I love getting flowers!
  8. Tyre pressure? Oil level? Wait, I don’t… absolutely, why don’t you just take care of that for me and I’ll stay here and re-read Jane Eyre.
  9. A wolf-whistle? This much cleavage on display and I get one lousy wolf-whistle? I’m moving to Italy.
  10. I can do whatever I want. And sometimes that includes sitting on the sofa, eating bonbons and being fragile.

From which it can be seen that my inner feminist and I are in complete agreement.


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I've run out of books. Again.

8 thoughts on “My inner feminist”

  1. As various songstresses once said in Lady Marmalade, Why spend mine when I can spend yours?

    This goes for time and energy as well as money.

  2. I wish my inner feminist would be more like yours and quit arguing and pouting all the time when I let Him pick up the bill and pick up that heavy… (whatever it is. It’s something that’s used to fix, the you know…whatchamacallit — with all those hooks and nuts and bolts and noisy motors and things that bring Him hours of satisfaction while I’m eating my bon bons).

  3. My inner feminist likes to be thought of someone who can fix stuff and lift heavy stuff, but in reality, all she wants to do is to sit on the sofa reading books and eating bonbons.

  4. Raych – That is true. Why waste my time and efforts to do something badly, when someone else could do a better job of it in half the time?

    Emily – You are more of an idealist than I am and you have more of a conscience.

    Charlotte – I think you are smart and capable enough of the time that you sometimes get the choice of bonbons instead!

  5. Speaking for all men (why not?), every woman should make up her own idiosyncratic list like this and print it on laminated cards for ready distribution. It would help keep us on the happy side of the line between charmingly helpful and presumptuously sexist.

  6. Mr W – Perhaps not laminated. Perhaps written in pencil with lengthy disclaimers about how conditions are subject to change at whim…

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