Dear Co-op Bank
We’ve been together for so long that I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I thought we were in it for the long haul, you know? You were there for me even when I moved to the States. But, Co-op Bank, something changed between us over the last few months. At first it was just little things. You stopped writing. You didn’t seem to notice that I’d moved. I’d call, but it wasn’t the same. Used to be, you’d answer the phone, be all nice and helpful and efficient, but these days it’s like you’re not even listening to me.
I gave you everything, Co-op Bank. My salary, my savings, my car loan, my credit card, hell, even my household contents insurance. All I want in return is one lousy, freakin’ debit card. Is that too much to ask? Really? Sure, you say ‘it’s in the post’, but it never arrives. It’s been 3 months now, Co-op Bank, and I just… I can’t go on like this. Trying to get to a branch during its few opening hours. Drawing out cash on my credit card. It’s all just so inconvenient. Now you’ve started lying to me, telling me you sent out a debit card when you didn’t. I try to talk to you about it, but you won’t return my calls.
I don’t know, maybe it’s my fault, maybe I should have done more to get your attention. Earned more money, taken out a mortgage. Well, I’m sorry if I let you down, but you let me down more.
The thing is, I really liked you, Co-op Bank. I liked your ethical banking policies and friendly staff. I mean, yeah, your internet banking site was designed by a 6-year old, but I could let that go. It’s ok, though, I get it now. You don’t want me as a customer any more. Would it have been so hard for you to say that? I guess communication isn’t your strong suit, though, huh? Whatever. I’ll stop hassling you to give me access to my own money. My friends are telling me you aren’t worth it, and I’ve stood up for you in the past but you make that impossible now.
I guess what I’m really saying here is, we’re through. I hear First Direct will give 125 pounds to customers opening new accounts with them, and they sound more my type these days. I wouldn’t have even looked at another bank, but you made me so unhappy, you drove me to it. It’s not me, it’s you. I wish you well, though. I just hope, some day, you’ll make some other customer happier than you made me.