Breaking up is hard to do: an open letter to the Co-operative Bank

Dear Co-op Bank

We’ve been together for so long that I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I thought we were in it for the long haul, you know? You were there for me even when I moved to the States. But, Co-op Bank, something changed between us over the last few months. At first it was just little things. You stopped writing. You didn’t seem to notice that I’d moved. I’d call, but it wasn’t the same. Used to be, you’d answer the phone, be all nice and helpful and efficient, but these days it’s like you’re not even listening to me.

I gave you everything, Co-op Bank. My salary, my savings, my car loan, my credit card, hell, even my household contents insurance. All I want in return is one lousy, freakin’ debit card. Is that too much to ask? Really? Sure, you say ‘it’s in the post’, but it never arrives. It’s been 3 months now, Co-op Bank, and I just… I can’t go on like this. Trying to get to a branch during its few opening hours. Drawing out cash on my credit card. It’s all just so inconvenient. Now you’ve started lying to me, telling me you sent out a debit card when you didn’t. I try to talk to you about it, but you won’t return my calls.

I don’t know, maybe it’s my fault, maybe I should have done more to get your attention. Earned more money, taken out a mortgage. Well, I’m sorry if I let you down, but you let me down more.

The thing is, I really liked you, Co-op Bank. I liked your ethical banking policies and friendly staff. I mean, yeah, your internet banking site was designed by a 6-year old, but I could let that go. It’s ok, though, I get it now. You don’t want me as a customer any more. Would it have been so hard for you to say that? I guess communication isn’t your strong suit, though, huh? Whatever. I’ll stop hassling you to give me access to my own money. My friends are telling me you aren’t worth it, and I’ve stood up for you in the past but you make that impossible now.

I guess what I’m really saying here is, we’re through. I hear First Direct will give 125 pounds to customers opening new accounts with them, and they sound more my type these days. I wouldn’t have even looked at another bank, but you made me so unhappy, you drove me to it. It’s not me, it’s you. I wish you well, though. I just hope, some day, you’ll make some other customer happier than you made me.


Published by


I've run out of books. Again.

4 thoughts on “Breaking up is hard to do: an open letter to the Co-operative Bank”

  1. I feel your pain, we too are moving to First Direct. But from HSBC, less of a news flash that their customer service is totally shocking… I was considering moving to Co-op instead, but having read this, I’m glad I went with FD!

  2. Sitting on my desk is a book from my bank on their new policies, instituted by the new owner (BMO/Bank of Montreal). The notice a few months ago was that nothing was changing. Ah, but it is a new year now, so they didn’t really misrepresent that, did they? It was just that nothing was changing THEN.

    All I’ve gathered so far is that none of the perks of my current account will continue. What they will be replaced with I don’t know. What options I have to change to a different type of account, I do not yet understand. There are too many asterisks and page reference numbers that I’ve become lost each time I’ve tried to decipher. I think it will be much easier to just close out my account and go elsewhere. It used to be a little, independent LOCAL bank. Then it became owned by allegedly one of the biggest TARP abusers. Now, it’s owned by BMO. Sigh.

  3. I’m afraid my banking choices have always been governed by customer experience rather than ethics. NatWest lost my custom after they paid my first grant cheque into someone else’s account. We have our bank account and mortgage with First Direct, but I’ve always had a soft spot for HSBC since we went travelling around the world in 2000. I had my bag stolen in Kensington the day before we flew out of the UK, and they arranged for me to pick up my new credit card in Sydney, which was wonderful. I’ve always found HSBC’s online banking to be pretty user-friendly too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s