Next week, I’m off for two days of management training. I am grateful for this, because I’ve never previously worked for a company that thought management training was a thing. With rare exceptions, the criteria for management have seemed mostly to be that you hung on long enough, said ‘Yes’ all the time and bingo! arrived at a management level by default. Possibly related to this is the fact that I’d only had one decent manager in my entire work life (waves to Marcy). So, this past year, I’ve had more management training than in the entire rest of my career, and I’m definitely learning from it.
However, this latest course focuses on ’emotional leadership’, which is an expression that fills me with dread. I generally view emotions with enormous suspicion and prefer to keep mine in a box in the attic so I can get on with more interesting things. The first rule of the training seems to be that no one talks about the training, but dark rumors circling suggest that it can be transformational; there is bonding; I have heard that there is weeping; and also appreciation. The likelihood of me baring my soul in a roomful of people I’ve known for barely a year is roughly the same odds as me deciding that there is space in my life for clothes from Primark.
It all sounds so far outside my comfort zone I will probably need a visa, and of course, as it’s work related I won’t be able to tell everyone to ‘Back the fuck off, and keep your snout out.’ Unless I can translate that into business jargon over the weekend and so go prepared.
As if solid days of sharing weren’t enough, it’s two days offsite at a hotel and dinner on the first night isn’t exactly compulsory, except that it is. I’d be tempted to drink heavily, but for the fear that, if I had to go through any of the training with a hangover, I might bite someone. Fortunately, the hotel isn’t far from where I live, so I’m desperately trying to get my room cancelled in order to come home at least to sleep and be comforted by the cats ignoring me. In fact, as long as I make it back on day 2 for breakfast, who would know anyway?
It all seems a cruel thing to do to an introvert, who ranks on even the internal profiling as heavily logical and objective, with minimal emotional shading. Can’t someone just tell me the principles so I can apply them?