So, Adele. Back in business with ‘Hello’, one of the most whiney ass songs I’ve heard in a long time. A quick poll amongst colleagues (four of us going for a Christmas lunch in the car when the song came on) revealed that I’m not alone in my views.
As far as I can make out, the back story for the song is that Adele (ok, probably not her IRL, but let’s keep it easy for the explanation) dated a guy a few years ago and then dumped him. End of. Cut to song.
In the intervening time, poor Adele has failed to move on at all, so now she’s drunk dialing him every time she feels a bit lonely. Which, if that ‘I must have called 1000 times’ line is true, is every single night for the last 3 years. Sweetie, of course he’s not home. He’s probably moved several times to get away from your incessant calling, and he has nothing to say to you.
He doesn’t want to talk about what happened. You dated for all of a month before he figured out you were in the trouble zone of the needy and obsessive continuum. He was relieved when you broke up with him. If you didn’t keep calling, he’d barely remember your name. No, he wants to get on with his new life and let’s say he’s learned from experience and his new girlfriend is not a self-obsessed crazy lady.
She, by the way, hates you. And with good reason. There they are, settling in for a romantic evening a deux. The fire is lit, the wine is chilling and then the goddamn phone rings and rings and rings, and they look at each without speaking because they’re beyond wondering who it is and pretending you aren’t a nut job. She’s like ‘I thought you changed your number?’ and he’s like ‘I did, I swear, I don’t know how she keeps getting hold of it’, and she’s ‘Well, I don’t know either but it’s funny the way she always calls. Are you sure you didn’t speak to her again?’.
Because there was that one time when he cracked and in sheer desperation thought that maybe closure would be a good idea, and actually had a conversation. It didn’t work, of course. And a little sliver of doubt enters the room, while the new girlfriend wonders if really, this whole thing is just too coincidental and he’s still too hung up on that bitch who screwed him over to have a real relationship with the woman in front of him.
Anyway, I guess Adele forgot that happened because it was three glasses in to her evening and she pours generously. Besides which, it’s not about him, it’s about her her her.
Seriously, Adele. Get a hobby. Get a cat. Leave the guy alone.