Thursday shoesday

So, about 5 weeks ago, in one of those easy domestic accidents, I slipped downstairs. For a brief moment, through the quite incredible amount of pain provoked by bending my big toe one way and the rest of my foot another, I had a vision of what might happen if I did myself a serious injury and was found, weeks later, half-eaten by the kittens. Then I lurched into the kitchen, collapsed into a chair and sat there trying to decide whether to faint, throw up or go to sleep, while the kittens tried to soothe me by climbing my leg. Adrenaline does funny things to you at 7am.

In the grand tradition of not bothering hard working NHS doctors over mere trifles, I have not yet taken medical advice. My reasoning was: (a) if it’s a broken toe there’s nothing they can do about it; (b) if it’s a broken bone in my foot, there’s nothing much they can do about it; (c) if it was a really serious injury it would hurt more. I managed a three hour yoga workshop without any problem – hurrah! But my inaugural walk with the Long Distance Walkers Association resulted in a swollen ankle and a bit of a twinge in my knee. Since the walk was only 16 miles and shouldn’t have had any effect whatsoever, that rang some warning bells. I’ve booked a doctor’s appointment.

Meanwhile, the only other symptom has been that I can’t wear heels. In one fell swoop, half of my clothes have been rendered temporarily redundant and it’s just as well I don’t have a partying kind of lifestyle because my party wear is usually  jeans with heels. Roughly once a week I get out my leopard skin platforms, put one on, say ‘Ow, fuck’ and put the shoes back in the box. This has not gone unnoticed, and at least one colleague is metaphorically circling, inquiring in seeming innocence, ‘Wearing your heels yet?’  with an acquisitive glint in her eye. It’s chilling, I can tell you. The kittens may not be all I have to fear if I am helpless.

Since I can’t wear heels, I haven’t really bothered doing any passive shoe shopping but it’s Christmas! The season of heels! So, if I could wear and/or afford the shoes, these are what I’d be lusting after:

Ok, so not strictly party shoes but soo0 pretty. And on sale, which I kind of wish I hadn’t noticed because even an LK Bennett sale price is the sort of thing to make you wince. Impractical? check. Ribbon? check. I’d call that almost an essential addition to my unwearable shoe collection.

But since we’re in fantasy land here, why mess around at the low end of the market? If I ever become successful, which it not going to happen because I can’t be arsed, I’ll be off for designer shoes before the first new pay cheque has cleared. The boys are calling…

First, let us see what Jimmy Choo has to say for himself. Platform, ridiculous heel and sparkles. I call that a fairly compelling argument.

I don’t know when I would wear these but I feel strongly that there is a limo involved. Also, champagne. Also, David Tennant. It might be spring or autumn, but I think that’s not a winter shoe, although I suppose if one is ferried wherever by limo, stepping out only onto red carpet and into fabulous restaurants, the season is immaterial.

I wonder if Mr Blahnik has anything to say in response?

Indeed he has. Manolo says, combine your penchant for slut shoes with your penchant for boots and buy these:

Manolo Blahnik boots

The pre-requisite here seems to be a relocation to Rome, because these boots were clearly designed to be worn while sitting at a table in a piazza in spring sunshine, dipping biscotti into a cappuccino and wondering whether to go to Prada before or after lunch.

Back in the real world, my dilemma is do I go to Waitrose before or after lunch? (And will David Tennant be there?)

Tuesday shoesday

This one is especially for Cam. I did head out to buy both pairs of shoes featured in this post, but alas! Monsoon the store was out of synch with Monsoon the website and still snores deep in sale stuff. Cue eye roll from me and missed selling opportunity.

Instead, I bought a pair of low heeled, navy, patent pumps. I know, right? You are thinking back to previous Tuesday Shoesday posts, or even Eye Candy Fridays, and wondering ‘What in the name of Kate Spade happened to her?’ Allow me to explain: it’s interview season. I had bought an appropriate, grown up, sophisticated dress and it needed navy shoes. I have another dress that formerly had been languishing in the closet because it too needed navy shoes. Until that moment, I have never been able to bring myself to purchase such a thing, because however much I try to believe they are subtly chic, my head screams ‘Boring!’

So, in compensation, I also bought these as my new fall shoes. I’ve been wearing them with jeans and a jacket and they make me very tall and I love them.



Tuesday shoesday

Despite the fact that we’ve had three (3!) consecutive days of summer, the stores are definitely heading towards autumn clothes. This is a relief because the summer shoes have been relentlessly ‘Seen it’ and not at all tempting. Also, Zoesmom is clothes shopping at the moment, because of her fancy, schmancy new job and all, and I have shopping envy. And fancy, schmancy new job envy. In fact, I would totally hate her if I didn’t love her.

So, these may fill a gap just opening in my shoe closet and provide balm for my suffering soul. My ballet flats have done sterling service but are starting to get a bit battered. I don’t think I would usually go for blue but somehow the trim makes the colour more workable.

And these are just adorable. Flat brogues are never going to cut it for me but put a heel on them and suddenly, why, yes, I’ll take a pair.

Both are from Monsoon, in case you’re interested. I know, it surprised me as well.


Tuesday Shoesday

Enough seriousness around here. It’s time to get back to the important things in life. Like these Ted Baker beauties that I spotted at the weekend and which are singing their siren song of spring loveliness to me.

If you think I will not be wearing them with a pair of grey, herringbone, tailored pants in a few weeks’ time, then you are batshit crazy and beyond help. I could totally lie and say they were Kate Spade.

And as if the shoes aren’t gorgeous enough, check out the purse too. Not that anyone would coordinate them, but separately? Absolutely. (See how I cunningly chose another colour so you could see the range of options available? I am sooo good to you guys.)

Spring is in the air. I can almost feel it.

Eye candy whatever the hell day it is

It’s autumn! It’s autumn! My favourite season, not only because it’s my birthday month but because while there are still blue skies and sunshine, there’s also an invigorating chill in the air. When I bought my coffee on the way into work this morning I was glad to have something on which to warm my hands. Time to put the heavier quilt back on the bad, stock up on Marmite and, of course, buy autumn clothes.

To begin with the most important item: the boots. Oh, Kenneth Cole, I didn’t know how much I’d miss you until I’d gone.  It is perhaps just as well I no longer have the opportunity to hit the store at GCT on the way home, because I would buy these in a heartbeat.

To go with the boots, I continued my search for a good pencil skirt. I think this one might work:

Also, I need (need, not want, it’s an autumnal imperative I tell you) this year’s pair of J-Crew cords.

Unfortunately for me, fortunately for my bank balance, none of this stuff is available in Blighty and I currently have no planned business trips Stateside. Surely,  surely, there must be something for which my presence is absolutely essential? Guys, c’mon, help a woman out with her fall fashion fix.

Friday eye candy on a Thursday

Hey, at least I finally finished Rachel Ray, which was entirely adorable. I like that Trollope avoids simpering heroines, and often creates readily dislikeable characters. RR was about the sunniest of his novels that I have read.

There will be a short interlude while I knock off the Georgette Heyer mystery I bought this evening to kill time before getting off the train and getting a haircut; and then, I swear, I will crack the spine of another proper book.

In the meantime, look at this gallery of slut shoes that I did not buy from Kenneth Cole and admire my restraint. I have absolutely no occasion on which to wear any of them, of course, but they are sooo pretty and impractical and ridiculous. Note how, by the time you get to the black patent pumps, they look almost practical in comparison to the others…?