Well, kind of. Those who find even vicarious life uncertainty stressful should probably look away now…
1. So, I was up for a promotion at work. It took me a week to figure out if I’d even apply for it (warning sign #1 – it doesn’t take me that long to make major, life altering decisions) and I still wasn’t convinced that I wanted the job. In fact, although I thought I ought to want it, the plain reality was that the prospect made me downright miserable (warning sign #2).
I am so not management material, I realised. I don’t care about the politics and empire building, and it rarely occurs to me to explain stuff to people because it’s so bloody obvious, why would you need to explain it? Why can’t they just get on with it? Also, I hate budgets, spread sheets, appraisals, resource planning, unending droning meetings and having lots of responsibility without any corresponding authority.
I went to the first interview, and then I bailed before wasting anyone’s time at the second round. And OMFG, was that ever the right decision! The sun shone, birds started singing, music played wherever I went and David Tennant and I waltzed down Broad Street. (Ok, that last bit may have been a fantasy but the rest is true.)
However, given that my existing role is temporary, this means that at some unspecified time in May I’m shifting into another as yet unspecified, temporary role. This is by mutual agreement, and I must say that my employers are reiterating that they want to keep me, and waiting patiently while I figure out whether I want to stay and if so, what I might do.
2. Because, when I stop procrastinating by writing blog posts, I’ll complete that PhD application. Then I’ll spend a few weeks trying not to pester the supervisory tutor to find out what’s going on; then there will be a decision. So, either I’ll be moving to Sheffield later this year, or I won’t. If not, then I suspect there must be something truly amazing on the cards that I don’t yet have any inkling of, because that is usually the case when I don’t get the thing I think I really, really want.
3. However, back in the now, the lease on my flat is up on July 12 and I want to move somewhere cheaper. Since I don’t currently know how long I’m likely to be in Oxford for, I’m looking for a short term let while simultaneously hoping that the PhD decision will be in before I have to commit to a new place. If not, then, erm, don’t know.
4. Meanwhile, I’ve been asked to revise my MPhil proposal for the OU, to which end I’m in the process of getting a Bodleian card so I can do some research in a library and not on Google. The MPhil is now Plan B. Probably.
So there you go. Life as a game of pin the tail on the invisible, moving donkey!