There have been a few times this week when, if I could, I would take myself aside and say ‘Really?’ I am usually organised and a getting-things-done-person. This week – definitely not firing on all cylinders, and certainly getting in my own way.
It can’t go on. Thus, the things which I have not been able to do this week , and my strategies:
- Get the full 8 hours’ sleep. I am over familiar with the early hours of the morning. A hex on thee, jetlag! – I hate to do it, but it’s knock out drugs tonight.
- Remember a poem. Does poetry always come hand in hand with insomnia? Ironically, trying to remember a poem about waking up in the wee hours was one of the thoughts keeping me awake when I woke up in the wee hours. Just more evidence that my mind hates me. I finally tracked down the poem and it is ‘Things‘ by Fleur Adcock; I was getting it confused with ‘3am‘ by Wendy Cope.
- Find the music I want on my iPhone. Almost every night I’ve had to come home and upload an album or a track I’m surprised to find is missing in the first place. What was I thinking that I didn’t include Pulp or Jarvis Cocker or the Blue Nile or Arctic Monkeys? I swear, sometimes I don’t understand me. It’s time for an audit, an update and a couple of new playlists for emergencies.
- Read. Because I’m tired, mostly standing up on the train, and dealing with email. I have read so little this year that it’s making me sad. Go and look – I have barely cracked a spine. I’m ashamed. This afternoon, therefore I have a date with a pot of tea, a plate of digestives, Louis MacNeice, my beloved Autumn Journal and Bach’s cello concertos. I know it’s supposedly spring, but today’s louring sky and rain say otherwise. If I switch to full autumn mode, there may even be toast and Marmite.
- Eat properly. Ah, the jetlag and stress diet! Effective, but I want those new jeans to fit, damn it. Unusually for me, I’ve simply not been hungry. Or if I have been hungry it’s been at inopportune moments, and then I forget about it, and then by the time I’m hungry again I’m either on the train or asleep. Much as I like my food, even I have not mastered sleep-eating. The solution? Brunch with a friend; unhurried grocery shopping; taking time to cook dinner.
- Unwind. Does anyone want some restless, fidgety energy? Because apparently I have plenty to spare. I am pacing the apartment and I don’t know why. I find myself going from room to room. They’re all tidy, there’s nothing that needs doing and yet I tweak a cushion, smooth a bed cover, straighten a shower curtain. Then I pace some more. What is this? I’m driving myself mad. Hopefully, all of the above, plus yoga will sort this out. Especially yoga. There is hope!